mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
As shirtless as possible
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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