ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
