seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
