SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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