mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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