dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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