oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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