It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
