ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
