Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
