I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
