Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
