Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
