so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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