You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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