I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
