I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
How's work?
Spinning.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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