I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
