ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
