I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
