hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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