NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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