I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
