do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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