if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
