Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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