You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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