You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize