If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
