I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
