her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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