HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
