If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize