I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
