Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
