i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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