let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
