I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
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