Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
