i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
