The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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