hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
