he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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