I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
