But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
