So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
