Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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