I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Randomize
