it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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