Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
i've created a new STD.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
