Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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