as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
