This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
