very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
