I cannot find my penis.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
