anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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