Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Randomize
