need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
