i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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